Problems and Anger

The other day I said to someone, after they informed me they would be going to bar after work to forget about their problems, that “…problems do not exist: they are just ingredients without a recipe.” The following day they informed me that my little hippie-dippy axiomatic-ish quip made a lot of sense to them. I aspire to never under value (despite usually under-valuing) my “problems.” And I do not know if “problems” is the correct term for why I wish to not under value, let’s say, some type of perceived issue. What I actually mean is, I struggle to succeed in most capacities if I am not focusing my anger (based in reality or conjured) on the “problem” or perceived problems at hand.

Anger has the potential to be a great motivator and ballast for setting and achieving goals. I need to remember this: when I do not, I feel my life has been a perpetual engagement to imposter syndrome (which is doubly comical because I do not know exactly what and/or whom I would be impostering). But I believe (well I have an idea — beliefs are dangerous) that misdirected anger is too often focused outward, rather than harnessed to address the uncomfortable feelings being inwardly perceived. My “idea” is that is why I enjoy, a tempered amount (anyway), of struggle: too much of what I perceive to be a “problem(s)” usually results in my desire to get the fuck out of wherever I am (currently Cincinnati).

But if there is a problem; there is (and usually a rather simple one I will add) an available solution. The aforementioned are gifts throughout our lives. Because in reality, what else is there? Seriously. If I was not living my life, what else would I be doing? (I know, a little William of Occam reductionist of me.) But a life free of problems seems quite boring: and there is a consequence (potentially — as well as flirtations with cognitive dissonance) to the tritist declaration, “If I didn’t have any problems; I wouldn’t have any problems.” The truth is, I am just trying not to be such a spaz, and take embrace whatever happens. (Talk to me in a week: I may want the whole goddamn thing to burn. But…eh? Just for today I…)

Love